Ladies and gentlemen, I am on holiday. To celebrate this, I have consumed couirtesy of the lovely Juicy:
- One blue lagoon a la Jo (Archers, vodka, lemonade)
- One blue lagoon a la Juicy's book (Archers, vodka, Malibu, pineappel juice)
- One uber shot of cherry syrup, Malibu, vodka and tequila
- One pina colada (vodka, Malibu, pineapple juice, cream)
- One fabulous mint creation (Mozart balls, creme de menthe, icecream, vodka)
- One "officially better than sex (tm me a year ago)" choc orange creation (icecream, cointreau, vodka, chocolate crackling sauce, orange juice)
- One tequila sunrise (tequila, organe, grenadine)
- One tequila slammer (tequla, salt, lime)
Surprisingly, I'm not geeling too bad.
So, my holiday. Let me first begin by telling you what I'm not doing this week. I'm not panicking about the imminent arrival on campus of 400 17 year olds plus teachers. I'm not worrying about staying overnight in halls and potentially taking kids to hospital at midnight and making sure that a ball complete with drinks reception, entertainment, dinner and dancing goes smoothly. I am however thanking my lucky stars that I booked annual leave this week, 8 months before the VC said, "I think your office should run an extremely large summer school in 4 months' time when you usually have a year to organise one for 25 kids". Absolute and total genius.
Instead of the stress and sleep dperivation, I shall instead be indulging in the following.
Saturday. Driving lesson. Drive to darkest Gloucestershire. Go to see The Feeling in the pouring rain. Squelch about in the mud singing loudly.
Sunday. Cchurch with Juicy. Carvery. Train (well, 4 trains, some of which are replacemacemnt buses) to Kiddy. Home to the bosom of my family (well, my mum, who to be fair has a lot of bosom to go round).
Monday. Sleep. Watch tennis on tv. Drive to Reading.
Tuesday. Get up early. Queue. Go to Wimbledon! Have brilliantly English day of tennis, strawberries and Pimm's.
Wednesday. Go to Henley Royal Regatta. Have brilliantly ENglish day of rowing, strawberries and Pimm's. Shout "Come on Reading" as brother rockets down river in university eight. Wear hemline below knee in case of Stewards Enclosure passes.
Thursday. Go to Henley if Simon won, otherwsie drive to Swansea to see Dad. Beaches. Dinner.
Friday. Go to Henley if Simon won again OR drive home if he lost OR have day in Swansea and drive back to Bewdley with Dad after he finishes work.
Saturday. Somehow get to Leam from wherever I've ended up. Driving lesson. Ladies final on tv.
Sunday. Detox. Men's final on tv.
Monday. One of the scariest days of my life so far. At 1pm, either crack open something sparkling that goes pop, or mourn my stupidity and shed a few tears. Let's all keep our fingers crossed that I can remember how to reverse park.
Tuesday. Back to work. Remain positive fpr about half an hour. Begin to remember why I need to leave my job at about 9am. Return to normality.
This is promising to be one of the best weeks of the year. Please keep your fingers crossed for dry weather!