Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to bring you another piece of advice from Sarah's School of Idiocy.
When chopping carrots, you may first choose to cut your carrot crossways into two or three smaller carrots. You may then cut each of these in half lengthways and then cut each of these parts in half lengthways to make batons. At this point I must advise you to stop and think about your technique for cutting each small carrot down the middle. Please, please remember to make sawing motions with your serrated knife, even if this cuts the carrot a bit wonkily. Under no circumstances should you push your knife firmly down in one motion in order to get a good cut. This will work well for many years, lulling you into a false sense of security, but one day when you're in a hurry the carrot will roll away under pressure and the knife will go with full veg-chopping force into your index finger. This will cause a not inconsiderable amount of pain and bleeding. Placing firm pressure on your plastered finger with your thumb will also make it rather difficult to eat the dinner of which the treacherous carrot was part.
I am currently typing with one hand. The aforementioned incident occurred 50 minutes ago. My finger still hurts.